allllll me

im only one person and i have learned my lesson if you dont like me for who i am im not gonna change for you im all real and if you dont like it blow me.


Today amanda came over and we went swimming and worked out im gonna work out alot more now so i can look good hahaha

Starting Over.

Soo im moving back in with my dad tomorrow i guess i hope all goes well with that one.
We have our differences but regardless i love him.
I do have a boyfriend and im really happy with how this is going and praying i dont get hurt.
Gonna start school again at PSHS and i hope that goes ok bitches better not test me haha.
Hopefully gonna get a job.
Can't wait to get my license me and my babe are gonna go to six flags cause ive never been on a rollercoaster :)
I have been listening to beyonces new song halo its sooooo good haha
watched the grammys today really good :)
me and danny got in an argument about some girl but its whatever im still happy with him.
AND
its sooooo windy and the house is making crazy noises and freakin me and madison out!!!!
ANYWAYY
im happy with what direction my life is going.
BUT
i will never forget where ive been.

i never knew you but i will always love you.

Im glad you never loved me.

Today my ex told me he didn't know if he ever loved me what a slap in the face. He is all over the place with me whenever we hangout he is the sweetest guy ever saying he is sorry for how it ended and that he loves me and all this dumb shit and i always fall back in his arms I'm stupid and then the next day doesn't even talk to me what kind of crap is that he has changed so much he is such a player and definitely not the guy that i fell in love with but its so hard for me to let go i just wish things were different in a way i wish i never met him cause i feel like a year of my life was a waste and a lie guys are so typical when the going get tough they back out its fucking ridiculous i feel in love with someone who was fake and the real him is a selfish inconsiderate asshole i always pick the keepers i wish there was a start over button or undo life would be so much easier and less stressful if guys weren't so typical and cared more about what other people think i wish i could meet one guy who wasn't like all the others and guys be more considerate you may find someone who actually gives a shit about you and not there just to get some.

there all the same.

Madison Danee Castillo

she is my sister AND my best friend.

she has been there for me through thick and thin.

i love this girl more than anything in the world!!!

i love being around her cause she is the one person that gets me.

we act retarded together haha :D

i love living with her i just wish that she didn't live so far from my life.

she is my other half

Pretty Much

This has been my life in the past few months........

boyfriend of one year broke up with me.
found out i was pregnant with his kid.
he got another girlfriend.
then they break up so he can show me how much i mean to him.
i get up the courage to tell my dad he flips a bitch.
kicks me out to my step moms in yucca.
not going to school.
a week later i had a miscarriage.


now......


still in yucca not going to school.
cant stop thinking about my baby i never knew.
don't know what to do with my life.
might be moving back in with my dad.



overwhelming.

Picking up the pieces.

My life is in shambles, and i don't know what corner to turn.

last week a part of me died and i wish i didn't blame myself, but i do.

Its really hard to go through my day knowing that ill never know what they would have looked like.

i hope everything gets better in time.